Naba

Indeed - the universe says yes. Another way of saying: Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. I like this saying, because it reminds me our thoughts really dictate our experiences. I was talking to my beautiful sister Sunshine, and she has always thought this way. She's an excellent example of positive thinking bringing positive results.

I haven't been doing much meditating on what I want exactly lately, but my mind has been on a constant stream of just doing more radio. Now that I think of it, it's just a given that I only want to work on the air. I joke by saying I'd like to get paid talking, but it's entirely true.

And the dream is coming. This past Thursday I went to 1050 Chum studios to record the first show Your Relationship Radio show with some great professionals. I have a segment and chat with the hosts during the show. It felt great! I was myself, I laughed my loud laugh and I was encouraged to do all of it.

The first installment airs March 7. I know this show will do well. And that means it bodes well for me too.

I am proud of myself for pushing to do what I love.

Again, the universe says yes.

But here I am.

What's different? To begin with, I'm eating healthier and work out more often. I started a program that has me tracking everything I eat and it's ended up in a 15 pound loss and increased strength and endurance. That feels good.

Also, I auditioned for a part in a small play and wound up with the lead! I'm playing Anansi the Spider, a West African trickster in common folklore. The play is coming up, and is for Black History month as part of a program with elementary school kids. Is it ever fun! I'm avoiding memorizing my lines now but I'll definitely get to it.

GO! is also going well and I'm loving my part. Seems there's also another opportunity come my way to be part of another show on a private station. More on that when I know.

Also! This is the biggest news today - my sister Adjoa recently won at the Cupcake Camp in Toronto. Her chocolate monkey cupcakes are banana cupcakes with peanut butter caramel filling and chocolate peanut butter butter cream under a fondant face. AMAZING!

I know she doesn't need it from me but I am so proud of her. She has such high standards of excellence that it shows in every piece she makes, and I've seen the looks of approval and wonder when she presents people with her creations. Maji, I love you, and I'll be cheering for you forever!

I'm off to get a pair of shoes from the repair man. They've been there for about a year. Thankfully, they haven't thrown my shoes out. My partner was surprised. I frankly wasn't. I was never in my mind that they'd throw them out. Moreover, IF they were to throw them out I think it's within professional procedure to call first.

Not long ago, my partner became sick. He had the sniffles and a congested throat. He kept saying, "I'm sick". I said, don't say that. Mostly because I felt he was owning the sickness a bit much. He said, why not, implying that he was just stating a fact. I then started to talk about mind over matter stuff and even found a scientist online who'd done studies on the power of mind over pain and sickness. Results, unsurprisingly, are that a positive mindset can positively affect one's state of pain or sickness.

Sometimes if bothers me that my partner tends to think negatively first. I am the opposite in that I tend to think the best of things and people first.

But opposites attract, and the truth is that I know I've influenced him to think positively sometimes and he's influenced me to be a bit more realistic.

I'm sure he gets annoyed at me about my Polly Anna thinking as much it annoys me about his default-negative thinking.

I have a friend who has recently decided to break her partnership with a few friends and strike out on her own.  She owned a business with people who simply don't have the same work ethic she does, and I congratulate her for seeing and knowing she can do anything she wants.

When I got laid off from my job as an account executive with an ad company eight months ago, I was not surprised. Not because I hated the job or because I knew I wasn't doing well. In fact, I was under the impression that I was on my way to better things.

I wasn't surprised because I wasn't in the right 'place'. I was in a career that is off from my 'path' enough that going to work was never truly exciting. So when I was let go, I never became depressed or upset or wishing to go back to the same position. It was exactly what I needed.

I was able to sit with myself and realize what I want in life - to be in broadcasting. To be on TV, or radio. Whichever medium, I know I want to host. I want to tell stories.

And I want to have fun. Having secured a spot with public radio, I'm doing exactly what I want. Silly as it may sound, there was a time when I was saying a mantra. It was "I am on television, on a regular basis, being creative, and loving my job." I also did the Law of Attraction Workbook Desire Statement exercise, which culminated in a page describing what my ideal job is. My ideal job included working with fun, smart people who are encouraging and motivated.

I tell you, that's what the folks on the show are like. And I'm not on television yet. So I haven't achieved that goal but believe me when I say that positive thinking, be it in the form of just thinking positive or in the act of reading and doing things that have little scientific proof, WORKS.

It helps that I have the support of a loving partner and a family that has 100% faith in me being able to achieve my goal. It also helps that my friends believe in me and accept me for who I am.

This might be a bit much for some, but it's all true. And I'll continue to do things this way, because it feels good when I achieve.

This brings me to the topic of friendship. At the job I left, I had a boss with whom I felt a strong connection. She has always been supportive, real and hilarious. Our relationship was on two levels by the time I left. The first was employee/employer, and the second was friends. We have remained friends and I've never stopped loving Emily as such.

Today we're having lunch, and I can't wait to tell her what's been going on in my life.

Last night I went to the Andrew Buckler menswear official launch party for its new store opening in Toronto. The clothing is a very smart, edgy and wholly Brit-style collection of items I would love to see my man in.

Mmmmm.

And, picky as he is, I think he might actually like the stuff! Besides, he's British too, so he should like it, right??

Like every launch party, there were drinks, food, music and what I like to call 'fashion people'. These are the types I sometimes envy - but only for the different styles. Not for the attitude. My friend Riley and I enjoyed the food, filled our bellies to offset any oncoming drunkenness as much as we could and proceeded to make friends. Our buddy Mats came, and I met quite a few lovely people, including Riley's friend Don.
Don is the manager of Fritz Helder & The Phantoms, a wild group of electro-funk pop musicians who I had the lovely pleasure of dancing with at the Buckler after-party at Atelier. I was licked with booze and it was nice. I'm generally quite friendly and even more happy with alcohol so I had just about said hi to anyone who looked pleasant. Only problem with that is meeting men (in one case a silly silly boy) who invariably ask leeringly, "Where's your boyfriend?" as if he must accompany me at all times if I'm to be this jovial.

Please.

Anyway, Fritz and Don are FABulous folks. That's me wearing Fritz' glove. He was doing his cute pretty-boy dance with my long scarf earlier.

I also met with a healthy, strapping lawyer-to-be who told me he BIKED TO MISSISSAUGA the other day. I believe that is a fabulous feat, one to which I can only aspire. He was wearing a gorgeous outfit of shorts, a button-down shirt and loafer-type shoes (I think) with such an air of confidence and good-lookingness I thought he was a model.

That was my Wednesday night. Don't ask me how I felt this morning.

Today will be the last day I see my friends Jessica and Johann for a long while. They're moving to Alberta (I live in Ontario) to continue both education and career.

This is a smart couple, each having their own special academic interests - which makes for great conversation. They also have their own dynamic which is funny and sweet. Johann is hilarious, a big teaser, a bit sneaky (in a good way) and intelligent. Jessica has great energy, is articulate and always surprises me by her knowledge.

Tonight is their going away party, with a cowboy theme as they set off to Calgary.

Good luck on your journey, guys. I'll miss you!!

Well I am just chuffed.

I've just accepted a position as Contest Girl on CBC's countrywide Saturday morning radio show, GO!. How WONDERFUL. I was told it was a unanimous decision, and I tell you, I could feel the positive energy even during my interview/audition.

It was fun, funny, and a collaborative, creative effort. I also get to showcase my skills as a host personality. It's FABULOUS, and now I get to do it every week.

Thanks CBC!

A 29-year-old girlfriend (who is single and dating) who has been in to the doctor's for a check-up told me the following story.

"I wanted to know about this HPV vaccination business. The doctor really pushed that I get it, so he gives me a prescription and only THEN do I find out it's a $400 procedure. As if I have that kind of money laying around. Then I went to another (female) doctor and she basically shrugged her shoulders and said, 'Sure. You could get it if you wanted to'."

Another friend we were with told her the vaccination hasn't even truly proven to be effective. I thought I'd check that out. HPV is basically a virus that infect mucus membranes. There are different types, some of which are transmitted sexually. Most cases of cervical cancer are caused by HPV.

Enter the vaccine. In the US and Canada there are state- and province-wide calls for vaccination, because, ostensibly, governments want to prevent women from getting cervical cancer.

But according to studies done by doctors Jane Kim and Sue Goldie, which were published in the New England Journal of Medicine, there is no conclusive evidence that being vaccinated for HPV will have long-term beneficial effects - especially if you're older than 21.

Reading the doctors' study might be a bit confusing, but Dr. Charlotte J. Haug, editor-in-chief of The Journal of the Norwegian Medical Association, summarizes it well with the following:

"Despite great expectations and promising results of clinical trials, we still lack sufficient evidence of an effective vaccine against cervical cancer...By the summer of 2007, there were definitely promising results with regard to the effectiveness of the HPV vaccine in the prevention of precancerous lesions...However, serious questions regarding the overall effectiveness of the vaccine in the protection against cervical cancer remained to be answered, and more long-term studies were called for before large-scale vaccination programs could be recommended. Unfortunately, no longer-term results from such studies have been published since then."

So it seems governments may be administering vaccines that are either unnecessary, not worth it or even harmful. In the meantime, women and their daughters are giving governments money in trepidation - for shots of "maybe".

Let it be said: I truly love my best friend in life.

The one I love is the most naturally supportive and understanding man I've had the opportunity to know so personally. I am honoured and glad he is the number one fan of me - and my continued happiness.

I should tell you about my funk pusher. I've known him for about 10 years. From our first meeting, our relationship revolved around music. This is a guy who was always turning me on to good music, new and old, with a serious bent on funk, house and soul.

He never lets me down.

Unfortunately, FP has moved to a Caribbean country to pursue a career in medicine. Yes, FP is a genius too.

But Skype is a wonderful thing, and FP sent me a youtube video that had me looking for torrents like a mad woman.

Osunlade is an is an ordained priest in the African religion of Ifa. He is also an artist producing afrohouse, a genre of music I sometimes forget I love because I own so few albums and I have somehow let "life" prevent me from pursuing music. I'm back now, and here is Osunlade's video Rader Du, featuring Wunmi.





Osunlade is playing at Toika Lounge tomorrow night. Should be a beautiful time.

Wow. Two major entertainers gone in one weekend. I was really surprised by Isaac Hayes' death; there was nothing to precipitate it. He was on his treadmill at home.

Bernie Mac hadn't even been 50 for a whole year yet. He did have some lung problems that caused complications when he was hit with pneumonia. His family was by his side until the last moment and he gestured to his wife that his body was tired.

This reminds me of my own father's death. My father passed away in his 59th year quite suddenly after having a stroke. He took his last breath on Father's Day.

Daddy worked so hard from the moment he came to Canada from Ghana to provide a good life for his three girls. My mother was his beacon of strength and his best friend every day. As far as I'm concerned, he died having done his very best, and succeeded in his goal.

I know what Mac's and Hayes' families are feeling. But just as I did for my mother, I feel sorriest for the women who stood by their sides. No matter how much I might miss my father, I'm sure nothing compares to losing a beloved husband.

Nothing compares to losing your best friend.

This is my vision board. If you've read anything about creating what you want in life, then you'll know there is a point at which you've simply got to let go of your desire so things can happen.

According to the law of attraction, your thoughts and feelings can cause changes in the world that attract positive or negative experiences that correspond to your thoughts and feelings, whether or not you're aware of it.

This concept is hotly debated in my home and considered pseudoscience in the scientific community. Still, it has been written about by many including Michael Losier and Esther and Jerry Hicks. According to the theory, we can sometimes get in our own way. We don't "allow things in". We keep having thoughts involving doubt, which steer desire off its own path.

One way to keep the mind focused is the self-motivating act of creating a vision board. Really just a positive thinking assignment, the vision board involves taking images and words that move you and putting them all in one spot. You then place it somewhere prominent so you can be constantly reminded of your goal, and get all those positive fuzzy feelings that prevent you from sounding like Eeyore.

I like my vision board. I put it on a bright pink poster and grouped words and images in main goal areas including inner beauty, health and travel.

Looking at it really buoys me up. I think that's the point.

Here is Esther Hicks as Abraham, speaking on the Law of Attraction:

Sprained my ankle at soccer today.

I don't think I've ever played soccer.

I play with a social league that plays a different sport every week. This week, someone decided we play on an uneven field with pot holes.

So: newbie player with unbridled energy + grass-covered, crater-filled field = sprained ankle.

Hurts.

There are few people with whom I can feel comfortable discussing spiritual matters. It seems over the years, through my reading and thinking about things, that my spirituality has grown quite far away from others.

This isn't to say I'm the only one who thinks what I think. It's just that there aren't many people I feel I can talk to about these things. I'm one of those people who has many friends on Facebook. People tend to like my high energy personality, my vibrant nature. But I'm not sure many know I believe in spiritual oneness, intuitive abilities, beings outside of earth (including what we call angels), and other dimensions. I'm not sure anyone would want to talk about this stuff with me.

"Here's your vodka and cranberry girl, now what do you think of being able to transport your soul nightly for personal transformation?"

It's really too much to get into with people you most often sit on patios and knock 'em back with. I do try to talk to others about it from time to time, but it's smart not to get too heavy. Most people, like my partner - a very very intelligent person - are much more linear. Without tangible proof, it's really just fanciful wondering.

According to the TaoTe Ching by Lao-tzu, there's no real reason to discuss this stuff anyway. On the nature of the Master, a fully realized person:

Because he believes in himself,
he doesn't try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn't need others' approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.
(v.30)

To a large degree, personal transformation is just that. Personal. But I'm not a Master and I'm interested in making discoveries about what *is* through reading and conversation with others. Since discussion necessitates basic agreement on certain topics, many of which some of my friends may not even care about, I risk coming out of the starting gate feeling like I have to convince them on the very truth of these basic concepts.

Which is why I turn to my other friends, with whom I have these basic agreements. That's when the conversation can begin.

But perhaps I'm not giving my FB buddies enough credit. I do like most of them because they're smart people. Why can't I philosophize with them? Would a true friend not at least humour another with her thoughts on how things might be?

My boyfriend suggested an idea for a podcast this morning.

It went something like this: try to get celebrities on the phone to ask questions that get progressively ridiculous. From the first call to a record label or agent to personal assistants to the celebrity him or herself, record the live conversations with people once or five times removed from the celebrity.

Not bad, I thought. I think people would listen.

But I don't know if either of us will do it. I have ideas like these. One's actually still on the back burner and I think it's because of fear. Sure, my initial objections would likely be related to logistics, but I truly think fear has something to do with it.

They may be small, they may ultimately be ridiculous, but I know they're there. What if it sounds terrible? What if it takes up too much time? What if I sound like an idiot?

What if, what if, what if.

Well, I have been thinking about blogging about my life, my job search, my spiritual life, my thoughts. My fear was this: What if my writing is terrible?

Answer: I'll deal with it. This comes from a book I haven't finished reading. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. I've had it kicking around for the longest while. My boyfriend and I even have a silly jingle for the title.

So here I am. Fearing my writing is crap, and doing it anyway.

Cheers!